I post this tonight with both a heavy and yet grateful heart. At 6:22pm (Colorado time) Karlena Marie Cahalan went to be with Jesus. My heart aches right now for her husband and son, parents and parent's-in-law and the entire extended family of those who loved and appreciated her.
I know that the sadness I am feeling right now is for my loss because when I think about where she is right now I am so grateful that she is in Heaven. No more labored breaths, no more pain in her legs....tonight she dances with angels and praises God in person!
I knew that eventually this time would come. I really didn't think it would come before she had a chance to meet our daughter - her namesake. She sent me an e-mail just last week asking for photos of the boys and an updated "belly" shot. She said that they planned to come to visit her mom in SF at Christmas time and would stay "until she got to hold baby Karlena twice".
This weekend Dominic asked me how she was doing and I shared that with him and we both laughed because we knew just what she meant when she said it. She was so excited about meeting her...even Kerry her husband said this took him by surprise because he was sure we had until after January....that just meeting Karlena was keeping her going.
We just don't know the time or the place do we? Even if we have everything to live for here on earth - we don't know when our time will be. I have said it before but I must say it again today.
Karlena was ready. Not ready to die because she was done with the pain but ready because she was excited to meet her Maker. She KNEW with everything in her that on this day she would meet Jesus.
As I sit here right now my daughter is moving around inside my belly, reminding me that she is here - such a gift that she is. She holds a very special legacy just having Karlena's name. I haven't ever been able to find a baby name site that gives a meaning to the name Karlena. Various forms of the name...but not that one specifically.
It is unique - just like she was. Today I give the name Karlena my own meaning. It is something that I will pass along to my daughter when she is old enough to understand.
Karlena:
Faithful
Courageous
Steadfast
Loving
Kind
Supportive
Follower of Christ
Karlena's strength, her character, her love for God will be instilled in my children. She wasn't here long enough as far as I am concerned. But she didn't waste any time being that Christ-like example to everyone around her. It is evident in the number of people from her community, her church that went out of their way time and time again to care for her and her family.
She inspired people to reach towards Christ like she did. Ever trusting what He had in store for them - even if it hurt this side of Heaven. I am forever changed for knowing and loving her. I miss her already and know that with the joy of the birth of our daughter will also come some sadness at her lost presence.
Karlena, I know that you said "NO CRYING" and I can hear your voice as I type the words. Tonight my tears are for me...I am going to be a little bit selfish just this once. You and I both know that this is not goodbye....just see you someday soon. Until that time comes for me....save a place for me at the banquet table because I know that tonight you are feasting with God.
I love you....
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8 comments:
Kristin - I am so very sorry for your loss. I know how very much you loved Karlena. Knowing you and your love for her, makes me miss her too. Hugs to you.
Kristin--my heart aches for you and for Karlena's family. I'm so glad she was a part of your life. She is the friend I prayed you would have--and I let her know how much I appreciated her presence in your life. Her love and influence made you the lovely young woman you are today, and I'm grateful that you are that same influence in your family's lives. You are all in my prayers.
Mom
Kristin, she loved you so much. Just last week when Jana and I were there for Bible study, she showed us a picture of Elijah and told us how much she was looking forward to meeting baby Karlena. I'm crying selfish tears today, too, for I know she's with Jesus and there's no more pain. Know that I am holding you up in prayer. Pat Friehauf, Fort Collins
Kristin - I am so sorry. I know how much Karlena meant to you. you were such a wonderful and loyal friend to her. I'm so happy God brought the two of you together.... I pray that every time you think of her, that the wonderful memories will bring warmth to your heart and a smile to your face. You're in my prayers....Carla
Kristin, I am a stranger to you but was fortunate enought to know Karlena during the time she lived in California. She was a wonderful person to work with and be around, and she taught me so much about sharing the gift of communication with the children and families we worked with. Your blog was so eloquent, it brought tears to my eyes. I can't believe she's gone at such a young age, but all who knew her were better for the experience. Thank-you for sharing in such a beautiful way!
I'm in shock. This is a beautiful tribute to her, Kristin. Thank you!
Kristin- I am so sorry for your loss.
I sit here crying with such a sweet yet broken feeling. What you wrote is sooooo beautiful! What a tribute to a precious woman. You have such a way of blessing and touching so many lives yourself. Karlena will live on in so many hearts, thank you for sharing what you did! Bless you Kristin, you are such a gift to sooo many!
Love Ana Pierce
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