What to Expect....the Truth

There are all these books out there giving advice to new and expectant mothers on what their new found role likely will entail....and often times when you read these books it sounds like having a baby, being a mom will be fairly easy.

The thing is that many of these books just don't tell it like it is...probably because if they did they might cause mass hysteria!! :) So after my particularly interesting afternoon(a story in itself) I thought I would share some of those things that no one wants to tell you. Maybe I am the only mom on the planet to experience some of this....so if that's the case sit back and enjoy the show!!

My experience with labor and delivery (Keep in mind this was MY experience) with Isaac we did the classes, learned what to expect in the stages of labor and how to breathe. When the time came the breathing went out the window within 20 minutes. Labor hurts. Plain and simple. For me there wasn't anything wonderful and empowering about the process of labor - it hurt, I cried and I apologized for crying. I am a big weenie though...so it isn't surprising to me! Kudos to the women who labor gracefully!!

The best advice I got for pushing was from Dominic's aunt Monica...she said imagine you are pooping out a watermelon when you are pushing. I did and all 4 kids came with only 15 minutes or so of pushing. Picture the watermelon - it works!! (Sorry if that is too much information!!)

I nursed all of my babies...each one different lengths of time and I recognize that nursing can't or isn't the best option for everyone. But one thing the books would never tell you is that for the 1st few weeks it will be quite painful. I wanted it to be this wonderful bonding time between me and baby...and it was but for the first few weeks I cried through many of the feedings - stressful!!  This doesn't last forever though and it will get easier if you can hang in there. And when you quit nursing and your daughter...um I mean baby gets their first ear infection the same week try not to blame yourself!!

Babies poop A.LOT. And when they grow so does the volume and size of the poops. When they are 2 and are refusing to use the potty, but hate to have their diapers changed it will be a power struggle. And often times the poop wins. All I can say is Thank God for soap and hand sanitizer.

You will get less sleep as a mom than ever before and somehow you will manage. Every sound, little noise will wake you up and you may go months or years before you sleep through the night again.

You will learn to eat meals quickly.  The babies will inevitably need to be fed right as you sit down for dinner. Older kids will need help cutting their food, or will need someone to watch them to make sure they aren't feeding the dog. I tend to inhale my meals these days!!

Cheesecake or any other dessert can be a complete dinner if you don't feel like cooking for yourself (not that I have ever done this) and kids can live off hot dogs for a couple of days in a row if necessary. I bet even June Cleaver had a hot dog dinner every once and awhile!!

Kids will never "behave" like you want them to, when you want them to.....but they will usually never be as bad as the people watching think they are. My perspective is always jaded and my expectations usually too high. Why is it that I have way more grace for others kids than my own??

Not all kids love car rides and may just scream the entire trip. In these instances set your cruise control....your tendency will be to speed to get home quicker and this will keep you all safe. 

Every milestone will be one that you want to remember forever and if you don't write it down and are like me...you will have trouble remembering all of the details later on. Take lots of pictures and if you like - journal the good stuff. I wish I could remember half of the stuff my kids say..they can be quite hilarious!

From the moment they are born they take a piece of your heart. Don't expect to ever be the same. And don't be surprised when you are ok with poopy diapers and temper tantrums and 200 episodes of Bubble Guppies. I didn't expect most of what the last 14 1/2 years would be as a mom....and I am so fortunate to have experienced every moment of it.