Worst Case Scenario?

What kind of person are you? Are you the kind that can see the positive in everything or are you the type that often considers the "worst case scenario"?

If you are anything like me, in some situations....you may revert to the "worst case" side of things. I don't love that side of me and I think that it is usually the result of fear in my life.

The fear of what exactly?? I think for me some of my biggest fears are that I won't measure up...I won't be enough. My kids won't fit in and they will struggle.

But don't you love the saying below??

The idea that if we are bringing those fears to God that we will find courage...a strength in Him that we aren't capable of ourselves.

I have seen how something that I had great fear about has been transformed through prayer and trusting God with my children.

I wrote this post about how I felt when we got a diagnosis for Gabriel 4 years ago. I was terrified for him. I just wanted him to have friends, to be like every other kid his age.

I would read about the characteristics of kids on the Spectrum and it would talk about kids that are "loners" and lack empathy.  Knowing how hard school can be anyways I worried that Gabriel would really struggle.  That he wouldn't have friends and would be seen as "aloof"

There wasn't much that I could do to "control" the situation and I just had to pray for him and support and encourage him where I could and trust the team that was put into place to work with him...and trust God with all the details after that.

Someone started working with Gabriel when he was 3. He had speech therapy and also worked one "social skills" with a few other kids in his class.

For the first year there wasn't a huge change. He continued to play alone, but his speech improved and we started understanding more and more of what he was trying to communicate.

Today though you wouldn't recognize him from the Gabriel we feared for 4 years ago.

Last week I completely forgot to study his spelling words with him and he got 100% plus 4 out of 5 bonus words correct!  This mama was proud!! :)

And today I went over to the school and had lunch with him because he is the Star Student for the week.  We had to fill out a sheet and answer some questions about what he likes etc and his favorite class is math! He wants to be a pilot when he grows up but he also wants to be a magician too! :)

When I met him in the hall some of the kids asked if they could sit with him at lunch. He showed me where to go and told me how to get my tray. And after lunch he was getting in line for recess and I was getting ready to go when this boy a few in front of him in line pushed this girl really hard and she fell back into Gabriel and onto the floor. The first thing Gabriel did was immediately ask her "Are you ok?!"

And I could tell that he was genuinely concerned about her.

The memories of my fears from 4 years ago came rushing back to me as I walked to the parking lot.  So much that I thought wasn't possible for him....and so much that he has already overcome.

Gabriel is a joy to me. Simply a joy.

I could have spent the last 4 years sick with worry. Afraid of his future and all of the obstacles that might stand in his way. At some point though I knew that I had to turn him over to God and trust that His path for Gabriel....for all of my childten, was better than my own.

Fear binds us, it holds us captive. It lies to us and tells us that we will never be enough, we will never measure up, that we will always struggle.

Today I am trying to choose life instead of fear. To trust in God with all areas of my life and to watch in wonder as His beauty unfolds in front of me.

Is fear in any area of your life holding you hostage?  Join me and others as we read "What Women Fear" with the Bloom Book Club at (in)Courage.  I am so excited to go through the book again and then connect with other people on the journey of freedom from fear. Will you join us?

What we've been up to and a look back

It seems like it has been a busy week. Do you feel that way also?

Honestly every week goes by so quickly because we seem to have so many things going on during the week and on weekends.  So I thought I would share a few things about our week and also wanted to share a couple of "old" photos with you.

Karlena turned 9 mos old a few days ago and today we had her well-baby visit with the doctor.  She is healthy and happy and growing like a weed! She has decided that she would like to start trying to walk already.... something this mama is NOT excited about!

She weighed 19lbs 6oz (60%) and is 28 1/2 in long (81%)!! She is going to be tall and skinny like her brothers!

I would post a recent picture of her but earlier this week our laptop died and so we are using the old computer and I can't for the life of me find the cord to the camera to transfer pictures. (Thus the reason I will be sharing some older, stored photos with you!)

But speaking of Karlena.....

This was taken at Christmas in 2009.  Missing her so much these days!!!

Our laptop died the day before the 1 yr warranty expired. We called Best Buy and were told to bring it in by 9pm the next day (the day the warranty expired) and they would fix it.

Dominic drove 2 hrs to Sioux Falls to drop it off only to be told that the manufacturer doesn't accept items on the day that the warranty expires. (Not happy Bob!!)

But he held his cool - good thing I wasn't along!! - and due to the fact he was driving 4 hrs round trip and relied on what the guy the night before said they are going to fix it. Sounds like it is the motherboard and we won't have a computer for at least 3 weeks.

I am going to have to find that camera cord for sure!

Gabriel started Awana with our church last week and is LOVING it!! He memorized his first bible verse immediately (John 3:16) and once he remembered that it was "perish" and not "puurshish" he was good to go!  He got his new book last night and his teacher told me that it is great having him in class because he is so enthusiastic!!

Speaking of Gabriel.....

This was taken in 2006 - he looks SO much like Elijah it is nuts!!

I had conferences for Isaac this week and he is doing great. I am never worried about his grades but it is nice to hear his teachers say what a great kid he is!

Speaking of Isaac....

This was taken in 2007. Can you believe how much he has matured?! Crazy!!

Last night while I was taking Gabriel to Awana, Elijah found a scissors and cut his own bangs. Isaac is NOT getting paid for that babysitting time! :):)


And speaking of Elijah....

Here he was on Sept 23rd 2008. Just a little bambino starting to grow!

Dominic has an extra long day at work today and tomorrow and my mom is coming up to stay here tomorrow so that I can go to Sioux Falls for work.  Saturday is the SMSU Homecoming and there is a big parade happening that again runs right by our block! So we will be praying for nice weather so we can all go out and enjoy that together!

Hope that the end of your week is blessed!!

Guest Post at Kingdom Twindom +1!!

Hey guys!! I had the privledge of writing a guest post for one of the blogs that I follow -

Kingdom Twindom +1!

Sarah has such an amazing story of God's faithfulness and it has been fun seeing how God has taken what was once broken and started to make it whole again.

That is one of the reasons that I love blogging so much. Although we spend time behind computer screens we have an opportunity to build a community with people that we may not have the chance to meet in person, in real life.

So hop on over to Sarah's blog and see what I had to say. And then while you are there take some time to see for yourself what an amazing heart she has and leave her a little encouragement as well!!

Blessings friends!

Women of Faith - Imagine!!!

In just 1 month my mom and I are heading up to St Paul, MN so that we can attend the Women of Faith Imagine conference!

To say that I am excited is an understatement.  My mom started this tradition with me probably during one of the very first WOF events. I think we went down to Omaha, NE and it was a weekend of shopping and conferences.

I remember being amazed at the women speaking from the porch. And to be honest I secretly wished that I could do that some day. To be a strong women of God and be able to touch the hearts of people just felt like it was something that was making a difference.

What is funny about this is that I am terrified about speaking in front of groups and so why that thought crossed my mind so many years ago I don't know....and I don't know that I ever shared that with anyone before.

Almost 4 years ago I heard about a woman named Angie. She had a heart-wrenching story and I started following her blog. Before this time I didn't even know what a blog was!! And shortly thereafter I decided to start my own blog. This was my first post...

I used to journal when I was younger and I loved being able to document my life like this and it was a way for my family to see pics of the kids from time to time as well.

Well this year Angie is speaking at WOF in St Paul and I am over the top excited to hear her in person. If you haven't read her books, "I Will Carry You" and "What Women Fear" ** you must pick up a copy today and read them. They are transforming.

Seriously -trust me on this one!!

Anyways. Not only do I get to hear and hopefully meet Angie, I get to spend some time with a couple of other blogger friends. 

Because of this blog, and so many others, I have come to know an amazing community of women and some of those women I have gotten to know on a more personal level. And the WOF weekend is the perfect place to turn an online community into a IRL community.

Kami and Jess are 2 beautiful Christian women who have already had a chance to connect IRL and I have come to know both of them and we will all be meeting in October!! In fact we get to also meet Kami's good friend (and room with them!! :) ) and her mom and sister!!

I am telling you this is going to be one weekend to remember.  Is anyone else out there joining us in St Paul? If so please let me know because we could make this one BIG party friends!!

I know this weekend will be bittersweet in a few ways too...it will be my first conference without Karlena. It had become our tradition for so many years to attend in Denver once she got sick and so I know her loss will be felt - but isn't it great how God uses times like these to gift us with new friends to share the experience with?!

In all things He is good.  Until then I will be spending some time trying to "Imagine" what amazing things God will reveal to me and I can't wait to share them with you!!



**Disclosure: Affiliate link used**

Multitude Mondays

So very many things to be grateful for today...but I am especially fond of this little one.

This sweet girl is almost 9 months old!!

She hates to sit still and is desperate to learn how to walk!

But she is a joy, and although blurry, this picture captures her joy!!

In Honor of Gitzen Girl, this Monday I am counting some of my many blessings and choosing in ALL things to have Joy!

#169 - Sweet smiles from my only daughter

#170 - Garage sale finds and black and red dresses!

#171 - Cameras that capture life - even if slightly blurred

#172 - The sounds of kids laughing outdoors

#173 - Pumpkins and leaves changing colors

#174 - The smell of stew cooking in the crockpot

#175 - New friends and new opportunities for growth

And how about you?

What gifts can you count today? How are you choosing Joy? Please share them here - I would love to know some of the items on your "list".

Happy Monday!!

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Choose Joy

I have spent the past couple of days reading through post after post after post about sweet Sara - aka "Gitzen Girl". Who is now on her journey homeward to meet her Maker.

Her mantra was to "Choose Joy".

Although I didn't know Sara on a personal level like so many did, I had an opportunity to read some of her posts and what struck me the most was that in spite of her battling a debilitating disease, she had found a way to intentionally "Choose Joy" regardless of her condition.

She reminds me so much of Karlena. Who also made a decision to "Choose Joy" in all things. The 2 of them would have made great friends I think! And oh what a party they will have together in Heaven soon...both girls and their dads.

The bigger challenge here for me and for all of us is how do we carry on a legacy like Sara's...like Karlena's?

Sara made it look pretty simple didn't she?

Just "Choose Joy".

Write it on the wall if you need a reminder each morning.

Make the choice - be intentional and "Choose Joy" in ALL things.

Such a simple idea - so will you join me in a new way of thinking....a better way of living?

And if you would please pray for those closest to Sara right now who are feeling her loss at an even deeper level....her family, her friends...Jess, Matthew, Candy, Shannon and so many countless others ...my prayers are with you as you say goodbye - for now.

 May you feel Joy even amongst moments of sadness.

Working From Home a Q&A!

Many of you have asked what it is like for me to be working from home since we moved to Marshall.....alright strike that - none of you have really asked...but I imagine if you did you may have asked me some of the questions below. So sit back and enjoy a little peak into my day!!

1) So what does a typical day look like for you?
         I am up at 5:15am, get myself and the kids ready to go to school and daycare - with Dominic's help of course!!!, leave the house around 7:40am, drop Gabriel, drop Elijah and Karlena and back at home ready to work by 8am. I eat a quick lunch when I think about it at my desk and then take my "lunch break" when it is time to go and get the boys from school. We come home and I work for another hour or so until it is time to go get the little ones from daycare at 5.

         When my (then) boss and I started talking about this transition he had said that he didn't care when I got my work done...just that I got it done. But with his "exit" and my conditional 90 days it is clear that I needed to be available between the traditional 8-5 hours(understandable). Most days I am logged onto my computer and have read e-mails before the kids even get up and some evenings I have Isaac watch the little ones so that I can finish up a few things...but for the most part I am working here 8-5.

 2) So let's be honest here - do you work in your pj's every day because if it were me I would!
        Actually no! I am one of those people that needs to take a shower first thing when I get up in the morning or I just feel gross. So I shower right away and get ready just like I would if I were going into an office...except I get to wear jeans every day instead of dress pants!

3) What is the best thing about working from home?
         I think the best thing is the access I have to a few of the "little things". Every morning before I leave to take the kids to daycare and school I start a load of laundry. Before it would have sit wet all day long in the washer but now I can run and throw it into the dryer when I get back home from dropping them off. Also in the summer Gabriel, Isaac and I would sometimes run out to garage sales over my lunch hour. That's something I couldn't have done before and we had fun on our little hour long outings! I also love working in the same community as my kids go to school/daycare. If there were ever an emergency I could be available immediately and not have a commute to worry about!

4) What is the worst part about working from home?
          I think the hardest part is the isolation from all of the people I used to see and talk with on a daily basis. I talk with my co-workers by phone throughout the week but it is nothing like seeing them in person every day or sharing a cubicle wall with them. I think that I miss that most of all.

5) What surprises you most about your new situation?
          Surprisingly enough that I don't eat more! I did worry that being at home, always having access to food, snacks etc. that I would be eating non stop. But I probably snack less than I did when I was in an office.  Some days I have to remember to go and grab something to eat quick for lunch!

6) What, in your opinion, is the biggest misconception that others have about people who are working from home?
           This is interesting because I probably had these misconceptions before as well...until I was able to be in that situation myself. I would say first that my kids don't actually go to daycare and that I spend my day working a little and mostly playing with them. The truth is that I wouldn't get anything done if they were here so they HAVE to be at daycare. The second would be that I only work a few hours a day and the rest of the time I am watching tv...or whatever else. The truth here is that my work space is in an area completly separate from our family room and so our tv is probably on less than it ever was when we lived in Beresford. And I just don't allow myself to do "other things" because I do feel the pressure to prove that I can do this and be of benefit to my company.

7) So you have mentioned before about a "trial period"....when is that done and what happens then?
            I was given 90 days to try this and to see how it worked for my company and I am grateful for that. That 90 days is up October 1st.  So what then? I am not really sure. I am praying that they want to continue to keep me on and trusting that if they don't, God has the details of that already figured out. The stress of the "what-ifs" were really hurting me so I have really had to let all of that go and just trust God with the outcome.  Time will soon tell I guess! I will keep you posted!

So there you have it....is there anything I didn't ask and answer that you'd like to ask? Leave me a comment and I will try to address it!! Looking forward to Friday tomorrow! :)