What to Expect....the Truth

There are all these books out there giving advice to new and expectant mothers on what their new found role likely will entail....and often times when you read these books it sounds like having a baby, being a mom will be fairly easy.

The thing is that many of these books just don't tell it like it is...probably because if they did they might cause mass hysteria!! :) So after my particularly interesting afternoon(a story in itself) I thought I would share some of those things that no one wants to tell you. Maybe I am the only mom on the planet to experience some of this....so if that's the case sit back and enjoy the show!!

My experience with labor and delivery (Keep in mind this was MY experience) with Isaac we did the classes, learned what to expect in the stages of labor and how to breathe. When the time came the breathing went out the window within 20 minutes. Labor hurts. Plain and simple. For me there wasn't anything wonderful and empowering about the process of labor - it hurt, I cried and I apologized for crying. I am a big weenie though...so it isn't surprising to me! Kudos to the women who labor gracefully!!

The best advice I got for pushing was from Dominic's aunt Monica...she said imagine you are pooping out a watermelon when you are pushing. I did and all 4 kids came with only 15 minutes or so of pushing. Picture the watermelon - it works!! (Sorry if that is too much information!!)

I nursed all of my babies...each one different lengths of time and I recognize that nursing can't or isn't the best option for everyone. But one thing the books would never tell you is that for the 1st few weeks it will be quite painful. I wanted it to be this wonderful bonding time between me and baby...and it was but for the first few weeks I cried through many of the feedings - stressful!!  This doesn't last forever though and it will get easier if you can hang in there. And when you quit nursing and your daughter...um I mean baby gets their first ear infection the same week try not to blame yourself!!

Babies poop A.LOT. And when they grow so does the volume and size of the poops. When they are 2 and are refusing to use the potty, but hate to have their diapers changed it will be a power struggle. And often times the poop wins. All I can say is Thank God for soap and hand sanitizer.

You will get less sleep as a mom than ever before and somehow you will manage. Every sound, little noise will wake you up and you may go months or years before you sleep through the night again.

You will learn to eat meals quickly.  The babies will inevitably need to be fed right as you sit down for dinner. Older kids will need help cutting their food, or will need someone to watch them to make sure they aren't feeding the dog. I tend to inhale my meals these days!!

Cheesecake or any other dessert can be a complete dinner if you don't feel like cooking for yourself (not that I have ever done this) and kids can live off hot dogs for a couple of days in a row if necessary. I bet even June Cleaver had a hot dog dinner every once and awhile!!

Kids will never "behave" like you want them to, when you want them to.....but they will usually never be as bad as the people watching think they are. My perspective is always jaded and my expectations usually too high. Why is it that I have way more grace for others kids than my own??

Not all kids love car rides and may just scream the entire trip. In these instances set your cruise control....your tendency will be to speed to get home quicker and this will keep you all safe. 

Every milestone will be one that you want to remember forever and if you don't write it down and are like me...you will have trouble remembering all of the details later on. Take lots of pictures and if you like - journal the good stuff. I wish I could remember half of the stuff my kids say..they can be quite hilarious!

From the moment they are born they take a piece of your heart. Don't expect to ever be the same. And don't be surprised when you are ok with poopy diapers and temper tantrums and 200 episodes of Bubble Guppies. I didn't expect most of what the last 14 1/2 years would be as a mom....and I am so fortunate to have experienced every moment of it.

The Joy of Being a Boy

When you are a boy, and a 2 yr old boy at that the world is your playground! And every thing is filled with joy and wonder and maybe just a little pouting!!



You Are Beautiful

This isn't an original idea. I am following suit from my friend Amanda. She posted the following with a beautiful picture of her daughter.

I had heard this Mercy Me song once before but hadn't really listened to the lyrics.

You must listen to them here. Read the lyrics...let them sink in, believe them, hold them in your heart because you are beautiful!

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Regardless of what is in that reflection...grey hairs, wrinkles, scars, extra weight etc...can you see how beautiful you are to your Maker?

For a long time when I looked in the mirror I saw something hollow and empty and ugly. But God transformed me, my husband, my family....He has made beauty from ashes.

 PRAISE GOD!!

And although I may not be the version of me that the world says I should be...I can see beauty - His beauty.

Today - look in the mirror and praise God for His beauty - YOU!

Garage Sale Find and a Cool Freebie

Karlena doesn't realize it but she is getting a glimpse of a future Christmas gift!

I found this handmade wooden cradle at a garage sale for $10. It is in great condition and just needs a little mattress, blanket and of course a doll!!

She won't be ready for this for a few years but I had to just get a couple of pictures with her in it so that when she does get it we can remember how small she once was!

Elijah just being a ham. He wanted me to take his picture and this is him saying "cheese"!

A few weeks ago I won a free canvas print from Canvas People. - it was a rush contest and I had to choose a picture really quick. I was the 1st person to find and use a freebie code...but I had to download the 1st picture I could find and the one of Elijah above was the one!

It actually turned out pretty cute and Elijah loved seeing a HUGE picture of himself. He kept saying "That Elijah"!! I typically never win stuff like this so it was fun to get something for free! And the canvas's they make are really nice quality. We have several in our home and if I could afford it I would make more. I typically take advantage of their free canvas deal when you just pay shipping. If you haven't ever tried it you should check them out!

Bath Time

Today Karlena took her first "real" bath! I know she is 7 months already but she either took a shower or a bath on this seat thing we had for the tub.  Today though she sat in the water all on her own.

She wasn't sure it was for her...

Unlike her brothers, she hardly splashed at all!!

She was more interested in her hands and how they looked under the water!

I did manage to get one smile from her!

 

And she tried to stop the water from draining out! Maybe tomorrow she will get into it a little more!

Happy Monday from our little duckie! :)

Sweet Isabel

I just had to share this photo becaue Miss Isabel couldn't be any sweeter. She had her pictures taken for her 2nd birthday in May and Beth gave us one of the little "business" cards she got from the photographer when they were here last weekend.

Pure girly sweetness! Love you little miss! I can't wait for Karlena to get a little older so you guys can play together!!

Typical or not??

"Typical" as defined: combining or exhibiting the essential characteristics of a group or conforming to a type.

For all of my life I have wanted to at least feel "typical". As though I belonged to the larger group of people that seemed to have it all together.  I was always a little shy (ok a lot) and a little awkward (ok a lot) and felt a little out of place (ok a lot).

When I was 7 yrs old and in 1st grade I was walking into school during a particularly windy and snowy day and the wind blew so hard that I fell into the bike rack and hit my eye.

Massive shiner. But after it happened I didn't want anyone to know (um yeah right!) and went into school and sat down and tried to hide my crying. But this girl next to me- Missy White - raised her hand and in front of the whole class told the teacher that I was crying. Awesome.

The good part of that was that I ended up having to stay at home for a few days until the swelling in my eye went down and I got to use my Easy Bake Oven and make some tasty treats. The bad part was that even at that young age I knew that I was "different". I mean how many people do you know that have gotten a black eye from being blown over into a bike rack??

As I got older it didn't get much better....I so desperately wanted to be the pretty girl with the long beautiful straight hair.

Instead I had short and curly hair. I wasn't overly athletic and I couldn't do the V-sit and reach in P.E. I have tight hamstrings...my arms just couldn't stretch like that without feeling like my legs were tearing...but I digress.

And at one time I apparently rocked a mullet big time.

There just really aren't words adequate here....

In 6th grade - the same girl who "told" on me in 1st grade was having a big party and all of my friends were invited. But I wasn't...they wanted me to come and wanted to help me "impress" her at a football game that we were going to by wearing a really cool outfit.

This was my favorite outfit then...and it wasn't really football weather appropriate. But I wore it anyways and froze all night that particular Friday. And when it was all said and done, it just wasn't good enough. I never got the invite I wanted. :(

In 7th grade I was the first person to have braces AND glasses at the same time. (Although later this worked to my advantage when we started high school I was the 1st to have them off!) But you get the point. I just always thought others had "it" figured out and somehow I had missed the life training course.

Some of those things still linger with me today. I am not comfortable in big group situations. If it is work related I can handle it because I have something to talk about...but when it is a "social" situation I always feel out of place.

It is something that I had always hoped would be different for my kids because it was such a struggle for me....

When we found out that Gabriel was on the "spectrum" I worried about what growing up would be like for him. You can read about how I felt about the results here. Kids can be mean and I knew that Gabriel would probably never be "typical".

And at times he does struggle. He doesn't lose well at games and doesn't understand at times just how to enjoy the "typical" kid stuff - like choosing out a prize from a prize bag. He is very black and white and likes to follow the rules....and when others don't he points it out. Not exactly top on the "How to win friends" list.

But he has a passion for life that I often don't see in kids his age. Last year at school his teachers would comment that he is such a great kid to have in class because of his joy for school. He loved it. Always happy to be there and always grateful. When he would get a certificate for getting a 100% on his spelling test he would thank his teacher!

And he has an incredible heart for God and an interest in all things spiritual. Gabriel and I have many conversations about God and Heaven. He doesn't want anyone to go to "the bad place" - saying the real word is a naughty word according to Gabriel! :) And he prays for people that at times I didn't want to pray for because I didn't feel they deserved it. But Gabriel doesn't see it that way. Everyone should be able to go to Heaven according to him!

I love that about him. And so while I worry and obsess at times thinking about how I can make him more "typical" so that he can avoid the hurts of this world....I am reminded that I too have been and continue to be where he is.

And that is ok.

I think that is what I love most about blogging. I am able to say here what is on my heart without fear of judgement because I can't "see" your reaction as you read this. I don't feel quite as awkward hiding behind my computer as I do when I feel I have to try and impress you in person.

And so although I may not ever be "typical" I think that is ok.

Because through the bad hair and the clumsiness, the crooked and then straight teeth, the braces and glasses and just about every color of contact in between one thing has been constant in my life.

God has always been there.

I really felt His presence the first time that my mom took me to a Christian Women's Club meeting and I heard a woman share her story about feeling not "typical" and how God used her anyways...I wanted to be used by God in the same way.

And as I reflect on all of the things that I have experienced I know that each one has been an opportunity to grow. If I am willing to do so.

Maybe, just maybe being not "typical" is a blessing because I get to see the world through a different pair of glasses.

And I have to say that the view from here is pretty sweet!