Tomorrow my maternity leave "officially" ends. :( I can't believe that 12 weeks ago Karlena joined our family. Her 3 month birthday is this coming Sunday. So today I decided to bring her to daycare for a shorter day, while I was still in town to see how it goes for her (and me).
The daycare that we are bringing her to is the same place that Isaac went to 12 years ago. We know and love the people there and I feel comfortable with the care that they give my children. I am also on the Board of Directors so I see how things run behind the scenes too. But in spite of all of that...dropping her off a few minutes ago was so hard. She always sleeps when I take the boys over to school/daycare...and so I would just let her sleep in her carseat until she was ready to be awake once we got home. Today when she wakes up she won't find her mommy and I am crying just thinking about it. :(
And then there is the small (ha!) issue that she has not taken to the bottle well recently. She took it when she was first born but when I tried it again a few weeks ago she refused. I have literally purchased EVERY bottle available on the market to try. We did find one in Florida at a local Walmart that is the same brand as her paci (which she also has just recently learned to accept) and have gotten her to take a few ounces from that. So I have been worried sick for a week that today she will not eat for them and be starving and miserable all day.
There will be LOTS of praying going on today....
I have always worked....always had to, and always enjoyed it. But lets be honest here - if we had been better stewards of our money early on in college and early married life maybe we could afford for me to stay home today. But we have looked at the budget and even if we downsized considerably it isn't something we could do. I carry the health insurance for myself and the kids and it is cheap...if I wasn't working and we had to be on Dominic's plan we would be paying as much as we are paying for 2 kids in daycare a month...it just isn't feasible at this time.
I can't live my life filled with regret....but today I am reminded once again that I wish I could do it differently and be there, ready to feed her when she wakes up. So please pray with me that she adjusts well. She is such a sweetheart and I want her to be happy when she isn't with me. In 12 weeks the longest I have been away from her is a little under 4 hours. Today will be a LONG day and tomorrow even longer.
Thanks for your prayers on our behalf. I know that God hears them and I know He will be beside both Karlena and I all day. Thank God for that!