I am not the kind of person that you might describe as adventurous. I like the "normal", the routine and often times mundane.
I would rather stay in than go out, I get to know a certain group of friends, co-workers etc and I don't feel the need to really expand my horizons. Because putting myself out there for someone or something new is scary. And I don't do scary.
I like the comfortable.
Perhaps this is why God is stretching me a bit. Because even in my faith I have become comfortable. I believe in God - I will pray for people and tell them that He is in control, I will share how He has worked in my life...but do I really believe it for my life?
When everything feels like it is out of control - do I believe He has a plan?
People who know us, our close family and friends who have walked through the past 15 years of our marriage, know that life has never been "easy" for Dominic and I.
We have walked through some very dark and difficult times, we have fought - with God's help - for restoration and renewal - and we have seen the fruits of that labor. But it has never been easy. It seems that we are often taking a step forward and then two steps back. Whether it is job related, or cars that break down, finances...you name it, it seems a struggle.
When our family starts saying "When will you ever catch a break"...we know it isn't just us and our perspective...but others can see it too.
And yet Lord I still believe in something better....
Dominic and I were talking the other night about all of this and he said that maybe, for us, it just won't ever be "easy street". Maybe we need the struggle so that we can step outside of ourselves, seek God's help and direction and then someday be there for someone else going through the very same thing.
And yet, if I am honest, my heart cries for our silver lining...our break...our dream.
But would that really make me happy?
Last week I blogged about Joy. I had no idea when I wrote that post that a few hours later I would be getting my walking papers from my 13 yr job. But as I read the post again I still feel what I wrote. I can still find the joy in the midst of the uncertainty that is my day today.
God has called me to an adventure in faith with Him.
A journey that is uncertain and sometimes scary. A journey that requires me to step out of my comfortable and trust in Him completly. And right now I have to do this....I can't imagine any other way to deal with everything....but to have faith that this too shall be ok.
I am memorizing Proverbs 3:5-6 right now and it is so appropriate for this time in my life.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; and in all things acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
As I adventure out in faith I trust in my God with ALL my heart - not just the comfortable part...but the uncomfortable too. I stop trying to figure out the "whys" with my small amount of understanding and I will bring ALL things to God, acknowledging that He knows better than I and give Him the control back to place me on the best path for my life.
Lord I admit that I wasn't ready for this adventure with You...but now that I am "in" I am all Yours!
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