Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Emotional

These days I wonder what DOESN’T make me cry!! I am walking this fine line between excitement and sadness at our current situation. My emotions have been all over the place lately and I am ready for some peace.

When Dominic and I bought the house we are in today we were so young. We wanted to find a home somewhere between where I was working and where he was going to school so that neither of us had to drive an hour to get to our destination.

Beresford was almost 30 each way. The perfect place. We went there one evening, looked at 2 houses with a realtor and made an offer that night. We drove back to my parents house to get a then 1 yr old Isaac and said “I think we just bought our first home!!”

Crazy.

And I don’t think that we thought we would stay there longer than the 3 years Dominic was to spend in school. But we did and so even though we have always been transplants….it has been home for most of our married life.

Insert tears….I mean seriously I can’t even write about it without crying!!

In 32 days we will lock the doors, turn off the lights for the last time….

Our dining room is now a sea of boxes. Each night after work I set to packing as much as I can. I am making progress and hopefully by move day we will just have the big stuff to deal with.

Isaac’s band concert and Gabriel’s choral concert were hard. I guess once I got used to the idea of being there and we really liked the school district etc I never thought that we would actually leave. I was pretty sure that Isaac would be wearing purple and white on graduation day. It will now be black and orange.

Gabriel was at a birthday party this weekend and when he came home he was so sad that he had to leave. With tears in his eyes he said “I just want to stay longer mom…” I told him that he would make new friends in Marshall and it would be so much fun….he said “I suppose you are right mom

He is 7. Such an adorable little man…

He left the room and I was sobbing. It breaks my heart that we are taking them away from what they know.

The familiar.

At that moment I just prayed that God would guard all of the kids and help make this a good experience for all of them. I know that He will but as their mom I don’t ever want to see them hurting.

And so I spend my days feeling overwhelmed with feelings of joy and sadness, feeling scared and nervous and anxious all at once. I look outside my kitchen window to the neighbors house and realize that won’t be my view for much longer.

I don’t love change – big surprise right?! And so at times I feel desperate to control all things and everything. I have to let go. Trust God with all of the feelings and know that we are safe in His protection.

If you have a moment please pray with me for the kids. Pray that they will meet and make good friends easily and this time will be happy and exciting for them and that their stressed out, over anxious mom will just chill out a bit! :)

2 comments:

Sarah said...

I'd be emotional too if I were you! I can only imagine how hard that would be when your roots have been planted somewhere for so long! Praying for your family as you make the transition! I'm sure God has big things in store!

Kami said...

I really believe that God allows us these emotions in order to process the change happening in our lives. It's normal to feel sad about leaving the familiar. It's normal to feel a little uncomfortable about the unknown. God is right there, holding your hand and guiding you through it all. And when you need someone else, I'm here, too! I'm happy to chat any time that you need me! :)



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