Monday, October 6, 2008

Today

Today I was getting ready for work and went to put on my dress pants that I had chosen to wear.

They didn’t fit!

They zipped up and everything but it was that kind of not fitting when the pockets on the side were pushed out to the max and I was afraid that if I did sit down at all for the day I would break the clasp that was keeping them closed.

This clothing problem seems to be coming on a little early and in my defense they were weird fitting pants to begin with – the kind that sat a little higher on my waist. But regardless, I brought them into the bedroom and told Dominic that they needed to go into the “not so much anymore” pile. This is the first addition to that pile but I am sure there will be more – and soon!

We started 2 weeks ago taking a picture of my belly every Sunday morning so that this time we could document the changes. We never did that before – I was always too self-conscious about it. Although I loved being pregnant I never was comfortable with the fact that I was getting heavy, even if it were for a good reason.

But this time – although some of those lurking feelings still remain – I am trying to rejoice in every change. Even if it means that I am getting “thick” around the middle.

This is probably the worst phase to be in. Besides the “morning sickness” – which by the way lasts on and off ALL DAY – things are changing, but in a way that just makes me look like I am packing on the pounds for winter! So if you don’t know I am pregnant you would probably just say I look “solid”.

I am laughing as I type this, really I am. It is good to poke fun at myself a little and to not take myself so seriously. And even though I don’t feel great most days and I am getting too big for my regular pants and yet still too small for maternity pants, I am thankful for each and every moment.

Dominic said it in church yesterday and it is true. This child is God’s. It isn’t mine/ours, it is God’s and He is allowing us the opportunity to care for this baby. What a great responsibility we have as parents. What a gift we have been given – I am so grateful!

In our church we don’t have infant baptisms – we leave that until the child is willing/able to make that choice to accept Jesus as their own personal savior. Isaac made that choice last year and it was amazing to watch him confess his faith and love for God in front of our whole church. Instead we have what is called a “Baby Dedication”.

Dominic made an interesting observation yesterday. He said it really isn’t as much a baby dedication as it is a “parent dedication”. Knowing that this is God’s child first we don’t really need to dedicate this baby back to Him. But we do as parents need to dedicate and commit to God that we will raise this baby in a Christian home, teach him/her the bible and bring him to church. We really do have a great responsibility to lead this child to a personal relationship with the One who gave this child to us.

For now though, I will just pray that God will guide us in the month’s to come, preparing us for the journey we have ahead.

And I might just need to begin my search for a couple pairs of pants that will “grow” with me. I am going to be needing them – and soon!

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