Alright I have a confession to make – this post was written awhile ago, but because of respect for another’s wishes and timing I was unable to post until now. But I have been given the go ahead and so I am shouting out my list of blessings today!
A few weeks ago Dominic and I were out for a dinner together alone and I had a missed call from Beth. I didn’t think much of it and called her as soon as I got the message. After a little talk about how and what they were doing for the weekend she said she had some news for me.
Yep – you guessed it Beth is pregnant!!! I can’t tell you how very excited I was when I got that call. I mean really – in all honesty I had not been so excited for something in a long time. I was thrilled for her and Jeff. And from the moment she told me – and I shared this with her – I had a feeling that she was going to have the first girl for our family! Call me crazy but I guess we will see huh?!
As some of you know Dominic and I have been trying for a LONG time to be pregnant again. It is something I have struggled with and truth be told in certain circumstances, around people that are pregnant or with their new babies I have had a really hard time.
But when this call came I felt nothing but sheer joy. Joy that they were going to be experiencing kids of their own, joy that they live close and I could walk along with her on this journey, joy that Beth and I have established a relationship and a friendship that I am grateful for. This is such a gift for our family and I was so excited. I have been praying for her daily that God would bless her with a healthy, easy and enjoyable pregnancy. She is due May 8, 2009!
I remember thinking the next day that I was glad she got pregnant before I did again. That she deserved this. I have had almost 12 years of “firsts” with Isaac as the only grandchild for a long time and they deserve a “first” of their own – thus the hopes for a girl for them.
I guess I really felt for the first time that I was healed from the loss I had experienced back in February, that I was finally able to let that go and just jump for joy over someone else’s miracle.
Well God has a sense of humor and just when I think things can’t be any better…well, He changes things up a bit.
When I was with Karlena in Denver I had terrible heartburn – which for me is out of the ordinary - that is unless I am pregnant. But I dismissed it until after I got home that next week and I was continuing to feel “icky” in the morning.
I knew the chance of me being pregnant was slim to none, but I had a test left over from before and I decided to take it.
I was wrong about the slim to none – it flashed positive so fast I could hardly believe it! I literally fell to my knees in the bathroom and cried. I knew how early it must be and all the fears of losing this pregnancy just flooded over me. All I could do was just pray that God would prepare my heart for whatever this might mean – good or bad. I didn’t pray for the pregnancy to be safe just that I would be prepared to walk whatever path He had for me.
I saw my doctor that same day for a follow up from my surgery and told her the news. She said she would do some blood work to see where my “numbers” were and we would go from there.
Again I waited – asking for my heart to be prepared. I got a call the next day that my numbers were higher than expected and they wanted to see me the following day for an ultrasound. Here is where I tried to understand and control what was happening….I Googled. Darn the google! Let me say from experience – sometimes the not knowing is better than all the stuff that Google has to offer us. I found every terrible thing I could find that it might be – all mostly bad and prepared myself for the worst.
So after another day of waiting and now praying that He would be with me when we got the news that something was wrong – we went to that ultrasound appointment. I was terrified. I kept reminding myself that God was God regardless of the outcome and I had to trust in His plan.
“There’s your baby”. Three simple words and the tears started falling. “And it is where it is “supposed,” to be” – that was their main concern. And then “there’s the heart beating”, “122bpm a good, strong heartbeat”.
And then something I didn’t expect – you are 6 weeks, 3 days along. WHAT?! Tears again. “But I don’t understand – I had surgery 3 weeks ago, they tested me that day, it was negative, how could it have survived?”
Our little miracle was conceived before my surgery, and somehow, by the grace of God, survived that whole ordeal and is now growing, just like it should. What a little fighter we have on our hands!
Then she told me my due date – May 18, 2009. Here is where God’s sense of humor comes in I think…Beth and I are due only 10 days apart! You know there is no way we could have planned this ourselves – no way if we had tried this on our own would it have turned out. But with God – anything is possible!
God chose to bless us both with this amazing gift. The gift of being able to share in a similar experience at the same time. The gift of having kids that are the same age and will grow up knowing how special this time was for their moms. This very well may be the only opportunity for us to be pregnant at the same time, and living so close. It truly is a blessing and I am overjoyed!